


For He's a Jolly Green Fellow

by heyjupiter



Series: Citizens For a A Thanos-Free Universe [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday Party, Fluff, Hulk (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 17:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21377575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: On the anniversary of Bruce's gamma radiation accident, Tony finds Bruce baking a very large cake for the day that he's come to consider Hulk's birthday. Party-loving Tony is scandalized to learn that Bruce hasn't made any plans for the day beyond the cake, and he scrambles to plan the party the Big Guy deserves. The resulting event isn't particularly elegant, but it's full of love. And frosting. A lot of frosting.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Citizens For a A Thanos-Free Universe [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1037702
Comments: 14
Kudos: 78
Collections: Bruce Banner Bingo 2019, Science Bros Bingo 2019





	For He's a Jolly Green Fellow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sally0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sally0/gifts).

> This is a birthday gift for Sally0, who sent me this prompt so long ago that she probably thought I forgot about it! Hope you have a lovely day with all the cake and Science Boyfriends your heart desires ♥
> 
> I'm also counting it as the "Gentle Beast" square on my [Bruce Banner Bingo card](https://twentyghosts.tumblr.com/brucebingo), and as the "Sweet" square on my [Science Bros Bingo card](https://twentyghosts.tumblr.com/sciencebrosbingo).
> 
> This fic is set within my Thanos-Free Universe series, but you don't need to read all of those to get that one. It's a canon-divergent AU in which Bruce and the Asgardians made it back to Earth after the end of Thor Ragnarok with no interference from Thanos. (Perhaps the only other detail worth mentioning from previous fics is that when in this AU, without Thanos to scare him, Bruce was still Hulk when he arrived on Earth, until Tony persuaded Hulk to let Bruce come back out.)
> 
> Finally, thanks per usj to volunteerfd for beta reading!

Tony woke up alone, which wasn't ideal. He rubbed his eyes and asked, "FRIDAY, what time is it?"

"It is currently six forty-seven AM, Eastern Standard Time."

Tony sighed and stretched. "Where is everyone?"

"Ms. Potts is in the fitness center. Dr. Banner is in the kitchen."

One of those options sounded much more appealing than the other, so Tony put on flip-flops and a robe and made his way to the Avengers compound's main kitchen. It smelled amazing, sweet and vanilla-y and _homey_. When Bruce was gone, Tony had forgotten how nice it was to have the kitchen regularly used for its proper purpose.

Tony knew he could have hired a private chef long ago, but he'd never gotten around to it. It felt too intimate, somehow, to have an outsider like that here at the compound. And he'd gotten by fine with restaurants and catered parties and take-out and his own sad attempts at cooking when the mood struck him. But really none of it compared to the pleasures of home-cooked meals made by someone who cared for him, even without being paid. 

As he entered the kitchen, he took an ostentatious sniff and said, "Mm, it smells amazing in here! Like a, like a scented candle."

Bruce looked up from his newspaper—he insisted on a print subscription despite the abundance of online news sources—with a small, crooked smile. "I think the candles are meant to replicate this, actually."

"Well, you know, chicken and egg," Tony said airily.

"I think this one is pretty straight-forward."

"You might be right," Tony allowed, although he was suddenly curious about the history of scented candles. He slid into the stool next to Bruce and planted a kiss on his cheek. Bruce smelled even more strongly of vanilla up close, and Tony kissed him again. 

Bruce had been back from Sakaar for over a year. It had been a slow process for Bruce to readjust to life on Earth, but eventually he'd settled back into a comfortable groove with Tony and Pepper. Over the last few weeks, Bruce had withdrawn again, spending long hours alone, behind locked doors, leaving Tony and Pepper to worry about him. (Well—leaving Tony to worry and Pepper to reassure Tony that Bruce was fine, he probably just needed some introvert time.) 

This morning Bruce seemed to be in a relatively sociable mood, and Tony vowed to make the most of this morning time together; the delicious baked goods were just a bonus.

Bruce cleared his throat and said, "Anyway...good morning. You're up early."

"Well, the early bird gets the...whatever you're making? I hope?" Tony hopped up from his stool to make himself some coffee.

Bruce grimaced. "Oh. Well, are you hungry? I could make something else for you…"

"Noo, I want whatever you're already baking, it smells so good."

"Like a scented candle," Bruce said drily.

"Better than a scented candle!" Tony hoped he hadn't offended Bruce. "I meant it as a compliment."

"No, I know, it's just—well, it's kind of silly…"

"What is?"

"It's just, um," Bruce said. It was sometimes a struggle for Bruce to put his feelings into words, and it was a struggle for Tony to wait and not try to fill the ensuing silence. But Tony had learned that if he spoke up, it would mean missing out on whatever valuable fragment Bruce wanted to share with him. Bruce swallowed and finally said, "It's the anniversary of my...accident."

"Oh," Tony said uncertainly. Bruce had never mentioned that particular anniversary before, and Tony wasn’t sure how to respond. Bruce hadn't sounded upset, exactly, but should Tony say something comforting? Should he distract him? Maybe if they had sex on the kitchen counter it would shut down whatever sad thought spiral Bruce might otherwise embark upon. While he was considering optimal positioning, Bruce continued, "So. But. Well, I was thinking, um, that if you think about it, it's kind of really, Hulk's birthday?"

Tony blinked, not sure he was understanding. He took a long sip of coffee and asked, "Are you making a birthday cake for the Big Guy?"

Bruce nodded. "So, it's...yeah, I don't know, I just don't think he's ever had any, and, well, you know, since I got back it's been...I've been trying to...um, I don't think...well, I spent so many years just hating him and trying to get rid of him, and then, you know...kind of...using him, I guess?" He spoke so softly, Tony had to lean in close to hear him. Tony was reminded what it had been like when Bruce had first come back, how disoriented he'd been after two years locked away inside Hulk's head, how unused to human speech. Bruce drew a deep breath. "So I just, um, I thought we should try to make peace."

"Brucie! That's a fantastic idea. But why didn't you tell me you were planning a party?"

"Oh—no, not a party, exactly, just…"

Tony squinted at Bruce. Things had always been contentious between Bruce and his alter ego, but they'd seemed even worse since Bruce had come back from Sakaar. As far as he knew, Bruce hadn't transformed once since his return. So this was progress, even if Bruce was describing a fairly grim birthday celebration. "Just what? You were going to put the Big Guy in a room by himself with a cake?"

"Well...a pretty big cake."

"Bruce, c'mon, that's not a party."

"It's not—"

"—if you say 'safe' I'm going to steal your cake. And eat it too."

"But Tony—"

"I've been trying and trying to tell you that Hulk is a team player, Bruce. From day one—_day one_," he spoke louder as Bruce opened his mouth to argue, "he joined the team, he listened to Steve, he _saved me_..."

"I know, I know, but then it was two years of him on Sakaar…and I just…" Bruce trailed off as a timer dinged. He stood and pulled two round cakes out of the oven while Tony watched hungrily. 

"Two cakes! See, I can have one for breakfast and there's still one leftover."

"These are going to be layers of the same cake," Bruce said. "Anyway, I know, I know how you feel about him, I just don't see the point in putting people at risk unnecessarily."

"It's not a risk! And it _is_ necessary."

Bruce sighed and carefully flipped the cakes out of their silicone pans. Tony had been distracted by Bruce and the delicious smell that he hadn't noticed that there was already a pair of cakes cooling on the kitchen island. Bruce must have started _very_ early in the kitchen this morning, Tony thought as he watched Bruce prepare the pans and pour more batter into them before placing them back in the oven. 

"Would it make you feel better if all the guests wear armor?"

"I—who's _all the guests_?"

"Me, Pepper, Rhodey? Your friends. Hulk's friends." Bruce took off his glasses and polished them on the hem of his T-shirt. Tony pressed, "C’mon, they live here. It'll hurt their feelings if we have a party and don't invite them."

"Okay, I guess, if they want to come. But they have to wear armor and they have to...have to be careful."

"Of course! What about Thor and Val? There should be time for them to—“

“No, no, don’t bother them, they’re busy.”

Tony was pretty sure they’d be happy to make time for Bruce—for Hulk—but he decided not to press the issue. Not today. “So, what else did you have in mind for Hulk's party?"

"It—I really wasn't thinking of it as a party, I just...thought the cake would be a nice gesture."

Tony shook his head. "It's a nice _start_," he said. "Lucky for you, I'm a party planning expert." That wasn't technically true—Tony had usually had assistance from Pepper or other paid professionals for his parties. But he'd _been_ to a lot of parties and that, he thought, made him more qualified than Bruce. He wrapped Bruce into a quick hug and said, "You just worry about the cake. I'll take care of everything else!" He started to leave the kitchen.

Bruce called, "Wait, Tony, did you want breakfast?"

"I don't want to eat Hulk's cake."

"I could make pancakes?"

Tony turned around and sat back at the counter. "Well, if you insist." Bruce always made the _best_ pancakes, even with Tony's best attempts at distracting him.

While Bruce cooked, Tony peppered him with an array of questions—what was Hulk's favorite color? Was it actually green or was that a cliche? What kind of birthday presents would Hulk want? Should they have other food besides cake?—but he stopped when he realized Bruce was getting increasingly agitated about his hesitant answers.

"Okay, you know what, I'll just make some educated guesses and then I'll ask the Big Guy myself so I'm prepared for next year, okay?"

Bruce gave him a relieved smile and a plate of blueberry pancakes. "Okay. Thanks, love."

"Of course. Anything for my two favorite guys." Bruce ducked his head and took a bite of his own pancakes. Tony put his plate in the dishwasher, gave Bruce another fond kiss, and set off on his party planning quest. He narrated a list to FRIDAY as he showered and dressed, texted invitations to the guests, and took his Audi to the nearest Party City.

He got to the store right around opening, so it was fortunately pretty empty. Tony knew people thought he was shallow, but if photos got out of his cart full of Avengers-themed party supplies, well, it wouldn't help his reputation any. If only Bruce had mentioned this _earlier_, Tony could have shopped online. He could have hired a party planner. He could have—but this was fine. He had everything he needed for a Hulk-tastic party, and Bruce had opened up to him. More importantly, Bruce seemed to be finally opening up for Hulk.

Tony rang up his purchases, took a selfie with the cashier, and went back to his car, where he took a quick call from Pepper.

"Hon, what's this about a birthday party for the Hulk? Is Bruce okay with this?"

"It was Bruce's idea."

"It was?" Pepper sounded skeptical.

"Well—it was Bruce's idea to make a cake for the Big Guy. But it was my idea to make it _fun_."

"And you talked to Bruce about this? About making it fun?"

"He said it was okay if everyone wore armor, which honestly I think is overkill, but, you know Bruce."

"I do know Bruce," Pepper agreed.

"I think it's a really good sign, though, you know how...well, you know how they've been."

"Yes. Well—that all sounds good, Tony, I just wanted to touch bases. Do you need anything from me?"

"Nah, I'm at Party City right now. Just show up in the gym at six in your armor." Pepper sighed, and Tony added, "It's for Bruce!" Pepper was not generally a fan of the unarmed Rescue armor Tony had created for her, but even she had to admit that it had its moments. Like this one.

"For Bruce. See you tonight. Love you!"

"Love you too!" 

Tony hung up the phone and made his way to Target, grateful that Bruce and Pepper always kept the trunk stocked with plenty of reusable shopping bags, no matter how often Tony forgot to put them back. While he was perusing the candy aisle, he got a series of texts from Peter, asking, with a huge array of emojis, what he should bring to the Hulk's birthday party.

Tony smiled and replied, _No presents, just your presence. See you at 6:30!_

He was sure Bruce would forgive him for the subterfuge—Bruce would be freaked out to have Peter at the Hulk's party, but Tony knew that it would be fine and that Peter, who lived much closer to the compound than the Asgardians, would hate to be left out. But by 6:30, Bruce should already have given way to the guest of honor, who would undoubtedly be happy to meet a new friend. It would be a nice surprise.

Back at the Avengers compound, despite his best efforts, it took Tony several trips to carry his supplies inside. Once he'd emptied out the car, he set about transforming the Hulk-proof gym into a more inviting space. Rhodey dropped by and helped him with the streamers and balloons. They stood side by side in the doorway, admiring their work. Rhodey asked, "You're sure this is what Bruce wants?"

"I think it's what Hulk wants, and Bruce wants to...Bruce wants the Big Guy to be happy."

Rhodey raised his eyebrows. "Well, it's about damn time."

"Right?" 

Satisfied with that phase of party planning, Tony and Rhodey went up to the kitchen. Bruce wasn't there, but he'd left an enormous purple and green layer cake on the counter, with a superfluous note that read "For Hulk, Don't Touch!" Instead, Tony made a couple of sandwiches. They ate while Rhodey filled him in on the latest briefing from the DOD. Rhodey went back to work, and Tony took the non-cake party food down to the gym.

Tony checked the time; still a few hours until six. He went off in search of Bruce, and found him up on the roof deck. He barefoot and cross-legged on the floor, his eyes shut in concentration. Tony hesitated on the periphery for a moment, not sure if he should interrupt, but Bruce opened his eyes and looked up at him, squinting a little in the afternoon sunlight. 

"Hey, Tony."

"Hey, Brucie-Goosie. What are you up to?"

"Just meditating...you know, Stephen gave me some techniques for trying to communicate better with Hulk?"

"Stephen?"

"Dr. Strange?" Bruce prompted. Tony snorted at the memory of the pretentious wizard who'd crashed their D&D game, and Bruce said, "Oh, I know, but it's been helpful."

"Well...that's good," Tony said. "I didn't know you'd been talking to him that much."

"I haven't, Tony, please don't be jealous. It just took me awhile to really commit to trying out the stuff he suggested."

"I'm not jealous!"

"Good," Bruce said. His tone was firm but there was an amused set to his lips. Tony decided to move the conversation away from _Stephen_ and toward more pressing matters.

"So...you've been talking with the Big Guy? Is that why you've been disappearing the last few weeks?"

"Yeah, kind of. It's not really like _talking_ exactly, but...communicating."

"Well, I hope you told him to get ready for a kick-ass party."

"I tried," Bruce said, with a shaky smile. 

"Aww, hey." Tony forced aside his own fear of abandonment in order to focus on Bruce's obvious nervousness. He carefully settled on the floor and slipped his arm around Bruce's waist. Bruce sighed and rested his head against Tony's shoulder. "I think it's a really sweet idea. I'm glad that you two are working things out."

"What if he doesn't come?" Bruce whispered.

"Then we'll have a lot of extra cake."

"I mean it. I mean, we've...it's been getting better between us lately, but it's been so...fraught."

Tony rubbed his back and murmured, "But things can change. You guys will figure it out." 

Bruce was quiet for a long moment. "What time are, is, um, the party?"

"I told people six o'clock. Is that good? I saw the cake was done. It looks great."

"The cake is a monstrosity. Six is good. But, would, um. Maybe around five-thirty would you go down there with me just to...just in case I need some help? To change?"

"Of course!"

"Thank you." Bruce tilted his head to give him a soft kiss, and Tony happily reciprocated. But Bruce seemed a bit preoccupied, which simply wouldn't do. Tony kissed back harder and tried some of his favorite tricks to get Bruce's attention. Things escalated and before long they both found themselves naked on the roof deck, glad that the compound had few visitors. Bruce let out a little moan, and Tony smiled with his mouth full. He'd been thinking about Bruce all day, ever since his early morning fantasy of bending Bruce over the kitchen counter. 

It wasn't (only) selfishness that had prompted Tony to take things up a notch, physically—he knew that this was one of the best ways to distract his anxious partner. (Certainly one of the most fun ways.) And indeed, to Tony's smug satisfaction, Bruce was markedly more relaxed when they went inside to shower and change clothes.

After their shower, Bruce stood in the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and a confounded look on his face. Tony smiled and produced a pair of purple pants he'd taken out of his workshop earlier that day. "I have just the thing for you to wear to this occasion. New nano tech, should stretch to fit the Big Guy perfectly."

Bruce nodded and tugged the pants on. "Thanks."

Tony whistled his appreciation, both for Bruce’s shirtless chest and for the fit of the pants. "Looking good." He’d worked hard on the pants during Bruce’s long absence, one of the many projects he’d taken on to occupy himself, to help his teammates whenever they became a team again. He was sure the pants would work, but he couldn’t wait to see how they looked on the Hulk. 

Bruce smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. "You couldn't have made a shirt out of this material too?"

"What, and rob myself of this view?" Tony asked, but he added it to his mental list of projects. If nothing else, there might come a time when weather conditions would call for a shirt. And shoes, too.

Bruce shook his head, but the hint of a smile still played on his lips. "Um. Is it time?"

"Yeah, just about." 

"Okay. You need to change, too."

"Oh, right." Tony called up nano armor up over his body, though he left his face bare for the moment. He still loved the feel of it, the accomplishment—not to mention the look of it, so much sleeker than his first few Marks. Tony glanced down at his armor and smiled at it before linking arms with Bruce and walking down to the gym with him. 

Tony eagerly watched Bruce react to the decorated gym. A smile bloomed over his face and he kissed Tony. "Tony, this is so...thank you."

"Hey, it’s not for _you_. But you’re welcome."

Bruce bit his lip and nodded. "Tony? The helmet too?" Tony sighed and put up his faceplate. "Thanks," Bruce said. "I need to know you'll be safe." He took a few steps back from Tony and took a few deep breaths. "You’ll make sure I come back, right?"

"What?"

"Hulk...listens to you. Or he did before. You’ll convince him to let me come back again?"

Tony blinked. Somehow he'd been so focused on Bruce's fear that Hulk wouldn't come that he'd managed to forget about Bruce's other concern. Tony knew he could never really understand what it had been like for Bruce to be trapped on Sakaar for so long; but Bruce hadn't seen how simple it had been for Tony to talk to Hulk, to persuade him to let Bruce back out. "Bruce! Of course. I won’t go another day without you." 

Bruce swallowed and nodded. Tony felt a burst of love in his chest as he thought about how much trust Bruce was putting in him, even if Bruce didn't quite trust Hulk. "Okay. See you soon. I love you."

"I love you too!" Tony wanted to retract the helmet, to kiss Bruce again and reassure him, but Bruce looked like he was already concentrating hard on his change and Tony didn’t want to interrupt. At first, nothing happened, and Tony took a deep breath.

"C'mon, Hulk, you can't miss your party!" Tony said. "You know Bruce won't appreciate it the way you will."

Bruce gave a shaky nod and abruptly began to shift and grow, and then the Hulk was standing there, resplendent in his new purple shorts. 

"Hey, buddy! It’s really great to see you!" Tony said. 

Hulk looked closely at him, then all around the room. "Who Tin Man fighting?"

Tony smiled. Hulk was chattier than he remembered. "Nobody! No fighting today. We’re just here to have fun."

"Fun?" Hulk asked, his tone somewhere between suspicious and curious.

"Yeah, you know. Fun! It’s your birthday. It’s a party for you."

"Party? Grandmaster?" Hulk definitely sounded suspicious.

"Well, I admit, it isn’t much of a party yet. We’ve committed the party foul of being early. But the rest of our friends will be here soon. Want to play a game while we wait?"

"Game? What game?"

"Catch?" Tony asked. He reached into one of his Target bags, produced a big purple exercise ball, and bounced it on the ground before tossing it to Hulk. Hulk snatched it between his two huge hands and popped the ball like a balloon.

"Hulk win!" he crowed. 

"Huh. Yeah, I guess you did," Tony said with a grin under his helmet. He’d forgotten just how strong Hulk was. "Uh...how about tag?"

"Tag?"

"Yeah, you’re it! You chase me and try to tag me. With your hands." Tony tried to demonstrate, and Hulk immediately bounded over and gave Tony a hard pat on the back that took his breath away. Tony coughed hard and laughed. "Okay! You got it. Now you run and I tag you."

Hulk ran, huge leaps and bounds. Tony hovered a few feet off the ground and followed closely behind him. It wouldn’t have been hard for him to catch up, but he deliberately lagged behind while Hulk laughed joyfully. "Tin Man slow!"

"We can't all be as fast as you, buddy!"

"Hulk fastest there is!"

"Yep!" 

“Fastest and strongest!”

Tony kept chasing Hulk around the gym until Rhodey and Pepper arrived to join in the game. Hulk froze and stared at them, then at Tony. "More Tin Mans?"

"It's Rhodey and Pepper. Remember, War Machine?" They'd fought together on some Avengers missions, back before everything had gone wrong.

"Sup Hulk?" Rhodey waved. 

Pepper lifted her faceplate and waved too. Tony realized that Pepper had never officially met Hulk, though Hulk seemed to carry at least some of Bruce's memories with him. "Hi, Hulk."

Hulk stood silently for a moment, and then his face split into a giant grin. "Hulk fastest of all! Can't catch me!" He ran off.

"Tag," Tony explained. "I'm It. Or…" he flew up to Pepper and tapped her armored shoulder, "I _was_ It. Now you are!"

"That was cheap," Pepper scolded, as she flew off after him. She tagged Rhodey and then came to hover next to Tony. They laughed as Hulk taunted Rhodey. "Hulk's so...well, cute," Pepper said. "The way Bruce always talks about him…well, I guess I wasn't expecting this."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"But I guess it's easier for us to see. We love Bruce more than Bruce does."

"Ouch," Tony said, though he knew Pepper had a point. “To be fair to Bruce, this is what Hulk’s like when nobody’s shooting at him. Which isn’t usually the case for the big guy.”

"I suppose that would bring out the aggression in most people," Pepper conceded.

FRIDAY announced, "Peter Parker is here, boss. Should I let him in?"

"Ooh, yay. Is he armored up?" 

"Yes, sir."

"I'll meet him out in the vestibule," Tony decided. Not that he didn't trust FRIDAY or Peter, just...that he wanted to confirm. And have a quick chat with Peter before letting him in the gym.

"Hey, kid, looking good!" Tony said.

"Thanks, Mr. Stark, this armor is so cool!"

"Obviously. Not that I think you need to wear this every day, mind you. A bit of overkill for Queens."

Peter nodded. "No, yeah, I know."

Tony took in the wrapped package tucked under Peter's arm. "Did you bring him a present? I said no presents."

"Yeah, but you said it was a birthday party!"

"So I did," Tony said. He was glad Peter was getting into the spirit of the party, at least. He'd just have to find a way to reimburse him for the cost, call it a "business expense."

Sheepishly, Peter said, "It's nothing too big, but I hope he likes it...I can't believe I get to meet the Hulk!"

"Oh, that's right, you never have…" 

"I mean, I've seen videos. And I've met Dr. Banner like, tons of times…" Peter sounded a little starstruck about that, too, and Tony smiled.

"So, listen, I'll introduce you, and I think Hulk will probably have at least some memory of you, from Bruce. But don't take it personal if he doesn't, okay? It's...it's kind of a weird connection they have."

"Okay, yeah, totally."

"And he won't hurt you on purpose, but...well, think of him as like a puppy who doesn't know his own strength. A really, _really_ big and strong puppy."

Peter nodded seriously beneath his armor. "I love puppies!"

"Of course you do," Tony mumbled. "Anyway, Hulk can jump high—higher than you'd expect—but if you feel like you're in trouble, head for the ceiling, okay?"

"Okay," Peter agreed. 

Tony didn't think Peter sounded especially concerned, but then, neither did Tony. Really, Hulk was a gentle giant if you weren't dumb enough to provoke him. "Ready to party?"

"Yeah!"

Tony led Peter back into the gym, where Rhodey, Pepper, and Hulk had switched from tag into a modified game of catch with a heavy medicine ball—hard to throw, but even harder for Hulk to break. 

"Wow, he is huge!" Peter said. "I mean, I knew he was, but...wow."

Tony joined in the game long enough to get the ball and rest it between his feet. He wanted to get Hulk's attention and wasn't sure he could compete with the game in progress. "Hey, Big Guy, there's a new friend here for you! Come meet Peter."

"Hi, Mr. Hulk, it's so nice to meet you!" Peter said. 

"Spider-Friend," Hulk said. "Banner's friend."

Tony tensed, but didn't want to show Peter he was nervous. He projected confidence in his voice as he said, "He's Banner's friend _and_ your friend. Just like me, and Rhodey, and Pepper."

Peter sounded excited as he said, "That's right! I'm Spider-Friend! I mean Spider-Man! I mean, hi!"

Hulk laughed. Peter approached him and held up the gift. "I got you something. I heard it's your birthday!"

Hulk snatched up the package and shook it. "Shiny." He stroked the smooth paper and looked at Peter expectantly.

"That's the wrapping paper. You take the paper off it," Peter explained. "It's so it's a surprise."

"Surprise," Hulk repeated thoughtfully. He turned the package over in his hands but didn't seem to quite understand the concept of unwrapping.

Tony flew up to meet Hulk at eye level. He held out his hands and said, "Want some help, Big Guy?"

Hulk clutched the package. "Mine!"

"Of course! It's your birthday. I won't take your present. But want me to help open the package so you can see what's inside it? I'll give it right back."

Hulk regarded him warily, but nodded and held up the package. Tony took it and started to slowly peel back a strip of paper. "See? Like this."

Hulk laughed. "Like armor!"

"Uh...yeah, it's kind of like armor! But...not as hard." Even though Tony trusted Hulk, it did give him pause to think about Hulk ripping open a suit of armor like a paper-wrapped gift. Not that he _would_, but Tony knew that he _could_; Tony hadn't worn the Hulkbuster suit. Tony passed the partially-unwrapped gift back to Hulk and hoped that Peter was smart enough not to buy a fragile gift. "Want to try? See, just pull the paper back…"

After Tony's expert instruction, Hulk succeeded in unwrapping the gift. He smiled. "Paper soft!"

"That's true. Paper is soft. So what'd you get?" 

Hulk frowned at the object in his hands, tilting it back and forth and watching the liquid shift in its translucent container. "Drink?"

"No! Not drink," Peter said hastily. "It's bubbles."

Tony grinned, but Hulk still looked confused. "Can I show you?" Tony asked.

Hulk handed the big bottle over to Tony. "Mine," he reminded Tony.

"Yours," Tony agreed. He opened the oversized container of bubbles, lifted his faceplate, and blew a very large bubble at Hulk. Hulk watched it, transfixed, and then reached out to touch it. 

"Oh!" Hulk cried out with dismay when the bubble popped. His mouth was a perfect cartoon O of surprise.

"Hey, it's okay, they're supposed to do that," Tony said. He blew more bubbles. This time, Hulk just watched them until they dissipated on their own. "You want to try? You just hold it up and…" He demonstrated the fine art of bubble-blowing one more time and offered the tube back to Hulk.

Hulk blew bubbles and laughed joyously. He blew all of the bubbles in the tube and then sadly threw the empty tube on the ground.

"I guess I should have gotten a bigger thing of bubbles," Peter said softly.

"Do they _make_ a bigger thing of bubbles than that?" Rhodey asked.

"Next time, let's whip up some bubbles in the lab," Tony said. "Wouldn't be hard to make them un-poppable."

"Yeah! Or like delayed anyway, like maybe they'd dissolve after an hour or something, if we—" Peter stopped talking as Hulk started looking around the gym, clearly bored with this line of conversation. "Uh, well, we can talk about it later, Mr. Stark."

"Right. Hey, who's ready for cake?" Tony had partitioned off a small corner of the gym to protect the food until they were ready for it, and now he revealed the food table with a flourish. "C'mon, Big Guy, this is for you!" Tony produced a single green candle and said, "I know this is your first time celebrating your birthday, so let me explain...I'm going to put this candle on this cake, and we're all going to sing to you, and then you'll blow out the candle, and then you can make a wish. And then we'll eat the cake. Sound good?"

Hulk blinked, and Tony wasn't totally sure he'd understood the complex set of instructions. But he nodded, and Tony lit the candle. Hulk stared at it, and then looked around as the small group began to sing to him. He clapped when they finished their song, and Tony said, "The candle! Blow out the candle." His faceplate was still open, and he demonstrated blowing.

Hulk leaned forward over the huge cake and _blew_. The candle went flying a good five feet, but it was definitely out by the time it hit the floor.

"Great job, buddy! Now you make a wish!"

"Wish?"

"Like...something you want. You get to wish for something you want, and it'll come true because it's your birthday."

"But you—" Peter started, and Tony shook his head emphatically. He knew that _traditionally_ one wasn't supposed to say their wish out loud, but he really wanted to know what Hulk would wish for. Tony couldn't make sure it came true if he couldn't hear it.

Hulk looked at Tony, then at the cake. "Hulk wish friends!"

"Aw, Hulk, you already have friends. You wish for something that you don't have."

"Hulk wish friends...more."

"More friends? I think we can arrange that," Tony said. He was sure Thor could arrange for some sturdy Asgardians to visit.

Hulk shook his head, frustrated. "Hulk wish…_see_ friends more. Hulk...lonely."

Tony swallowed. "Yeah. Okay, yeah, I bet you are. We'll make sure we spend more time with you, okay?"

Hulk smiled. "Hulk wish friends time."

Tony said, "You know what, we'll do that. We'll get it on the calendar. But for now...it's time to eat the cake!" He bent down to get a knife, but Hulk had already taken a giant handful of cake and shoved it in his mouth.

The group laughed, and Tony said, "Uh...okay, yes, enjoy your cake, Hulk! Um, there's some other snacks…" His friends raised their armored faceplates and started sipping punch and eating Chex Mix, watching Hulk enjoy the cake. He ate the entire thing and washed it down with a pitcher of fruit punch.

"Now there's just one thing left!" Tony said. He'd been very excited to spot the Iron Man piñata at Party City and was even more excited now as he lowered it from the ceiling. He pulled a baseball bat out of his party supply stash.

Hulk watched the piñata lower with interest. "Tiny Tin Man!"

"That's right!" Tony said, as the piñata came to rest about fifteen feet off the ground. "And it's full of candy! Here, I'll show you." Normally, he would give the birthday boy first swing at the piñata, but he wasn't sure Hulk would get it without a demonstration. Also, he might just annihilate the entire piñata. So Tony flew up toward the piñata with the bat.

"Wait, Mr. Stark, you're supposed to be blindfolded!" Peter said.

"Right, right." He lowered the faceplate and said, "FRIDAY, dark out my vision." He spun around and prepared to take his best swing at the piñata—and then felt the bat yanked out of his hands, followed shortly by the sensation of huge arms pulling him out of the sky.

"No!" Hulk said.

"No, Hulk, it's okay, it's just a game. It's just a toy," Tony said. "FRI, I'll take my vision back, if you don't mind." His vision came back but all he could see was a field of green.

"It's how you get candy!" Peter said.

"No hit!" Hulk said. He wasn't hurting Tony, but he was holding him very firmly against his very large chest. 

Tony sighed. He should really have thought about that; Hulk _had_ always been very protective of Tony. He'd just thought that a piñata sounded like a fun party game for somebody who loved smashing things. "Okay, no hit," Tony agreed. "Could you put me down, please?"

Hulk dropped Tony and he managed to stumble to his feet, just in time to watch Hulk bound into the air and yank the Iron Man piñata down from the cord that held it. He gently cradled the piñata in his arms and glared at his friends, as if daring them to hit the piñata.

"Okay, fair enough," Tony said. "Uh, you know what, I think that just about brings this party to its end. Thanks for coming, everyone!"

Rhodey, Pepper, and Peter gave Tony questioning looks, but he nodded and gestured for them to leave. They bid goodbye to Hulk and promised to see him again soon, and one by one they left the gym until Tony, Hulk, and the piñata were the only ones who remained.

Tony took a deep breath. He really hoped he hadn't been overconfident with his promise to Bruce. It was going to be humiliating if he had to call Stephen Strange to ask for help getting Hulk to change back. "Okay, Big Guy, party's over. Did you have fun?"

"Fun!" Hulk agreed.

"Good, I'm really glad. Now, uh...do you think we could get Bruce back in here?"

Hulk looked down at the piñata, then at Tony. "Hulk come back? More party?"

"I promise, Hulk can come back. I mean, you can come back. I think you've got some birthdays to catch up on. But tonight we need Bruce."

Hulk considered. He nodded, then held up the piñata and instructed, "No hit!"

"I won't hit it," Tony promised. "Thanks for looking out for it. Me. Whatever."

"Hulk protect," Hulk said proudly. 

"I know you do. Thank you."

Hulk smiled and began to shrink. Before long, Bruce was standing in front of Tony. He looked tired and sticky with frosting, but nowhere near as upset as Tony remembered him looking after past Hulk-outs.

"Hey, Bruce, welcome back," Tony said. He retracted his armor.

Bruce looked down at the piñata in his arms, then back up at Tony. "Hey. How was the party?"

"Good! Really good. He had a good time. Uh, until I had the bright idea of trying to hit that Iron Man piñata," Tony said.

Bruce laughed, slightly hysterically. "Oh my god."

"Yeah, he didn't like that. He really took your lessons about not hitting to heart."

Bruce smiled. "Well...good." He blinked. "Wait. Was...was Peter here?"

"Uh. Yes. And I'm sorry I didn't mention it in advance, but—wait, you remember?" Tony asked. He knew Bruce didn't usually consciously remember anything Hulk did.

"A bit. More like a...shadow of a memory, but it...it's something. Oh, he really did have a good time, huh?" Bruce asked, sounding wistful. 

"He really did. How about you? Are you tired? Or hungry? Hulk ate _all_ the cake but Pepper was going to order pizza…"

"Yeah, I—oh, Tony, I just feel so bad, I...I've treated Hulk so badly for so long and I…"

"Hey. Hey. You did the best you could with the information you had available. You can’t blame yourself for trying to protect people." He stepped closer to look Bruce in the eyes...and laughed. "Oh, god, Bruce, I'm sorry, it's just...there is so much frosting on you."

Bruce laughed too and ran a hand through his hair, which came away with traces of green frosting. "Oh, wow. Did he get _any_ of it in his mouth?"

"Plenty," Tony assured him. He grabbed a handful of Avengers-branded napkins and attempted to wipe Bruce’s cheek, but the frosting had started to harden. "Why don't we go get you cleaned up?"

"Okay." Bruce sighed and looked down at the piñata. "I love you so much."

Tony kissed Bruce's frosted cheek. "I love you too. And not just because you taste delicious."

Bruce nodded and shook the piñata. "Same."

They retreated up to their bedroom, where Bruce wiped the frosting off his face and hair. He removed his Hulk pants and pulled on jeans and a soft sweatshirt.

"You want to hang out and have pizza?" Tony asked. "Or if you're done for the day I can go bring you some?"

"I'll hang out for a bit," Bruce said. He seemed tired, but not as exhausted as he used to be after a Hulk-out. "Is everyone in the common room?"

"Yeah," Tony confirmed, and they headed off that way together. They squeezed on the big couch, with Bruce nestled between Tony and Pepper, the piñata resting on his lap. 

"Hey, thanks for coming, Peter," Bruce said.

"Yeah, of course, it was really fun!" Peter said around a mouthful of pizza. 

"And the rest of you, too, thank you...I know you didn't have as far to travel, but, I...thank you. It means a lot to...him. To us."

"Peter's right, it was fun," Rhodey said.

"We're happy to help Hulk celebrate," Pepper said. "And happy to have you back, too."

Bruce smiled. After eating a few slices of pizza, he flipped over the Iron Man piñata and found the flap in the back where Tony had stuffed it with candy. He reached in and pulled out a fun-size Snickers, then offered the piñata to Tony. "Candy?"

Tony gasped dramatically. "Wow, I can't believe you would tear me open like that! Just for a piece of candy?! Hulk would never."

Bruce laughed and leaned his head against Tony's shoulder. "I'll be sure to patch you back up." 

"Thank you." Tony turned and pressed a kiss to Bruce's temple before adding, ruefully, "But I really did think Hulk would like the piñata. He loves smashing!"

"Next time, maybe get one shaped like General Ross?" Bruce suggested.

Tony laughed as Peter began methodically gutting the piñata and sorting the candy according to desirability. Piles grew on the coffee table—and shrank as Rhodey snagged several pieces for himself.

"Should we put on a movie or something?" Pepper asked. 

"How about Shrek?" Rhodey suggested. 

Tony snorted. "Maybe we should save that one for the next time we hang out with Hulk."

"Movie night with Hulk?" Bruce asked skeptically.

"Yeah, that was his birthday wish, to get to hang out with his friends more often. He blew out the candle so it has to come true!" Tony said, hoping his cheerful tone would put off any disagreements from Bruce.

But Bruce didn't protest; he smiled and popped his Snickers in his mouth. "You guys are so sweet."

"We'd be sweeter if we'd gotten any of that cake," Rhodey grumbled.

"He really ate _all_ of it?" Bruce asked.

"Except what ended up in your hair," Tony confirmed.

Bruce sighed. "Well. I guess I'd better not have any more candy tonight."

"Nah, I think you've earned a cheat day," Tony said, not that Bruce ever really bothered with diets anyway. "Hey, kid, toss me a Reese's?" Peter obligingly flung a peanut butter cup at Tony with laser precision. 

Bruce said, "I can bake another cake tomorrow."

"Or I could just pick up a scented candle," Tony offered.

Rhodey rolled his eyes and turned on an old episode of Star Trek. Pepper sighed and started going through work emails on her tablet. Peter kept up a running commentary on the show's scientific plausibility, and Bruce fell asleep against Tony's shoulder. Tony couldn't imagine a sweeter end to the day.


End file.
